7 Ways the Fear of Being Alone Impacts Your Relationships

The fear of being alone is often a powerful motivator for remaining in relationships past their expiration date. If this fear is present for you, you may find that you are frequently waiting for the other shoe to drop and feel hypervigilant about any changes in your partner's mood or demeanor.

Those who fear being alone are more likely to have an anxious attachment style. Often, they have had experiences in early childhood that have conditioned them to over-function in a relationship in order to prevent their partner from leaving, typically at the expense of themselves.

They may have grown up in a high-conflict home and taken on the role of being the peacemaker or witnessed a parent adopting that role. Consequently, they may have learned to associate love with having to "fight for it" in order to maintain the relationship. If one or both caregivers were inconsistent or absent, they may have learned early on that they have to "earn" love; otherwise, they won't feel worthy of receiving it.

When someone is unaware of this fear, it often plays out in their dating patterns or relationships. Consider the following signs that this fear could be impacting your dating patterns:

You give too many chances to the wrong partners.
You jump from relationship to relationship and have rare pockets of time when you are single.
You have a harder time letting go of unhealthy relationships.
You may find yourself over-functioning in relationships and overcompensating for your partner's lack of effort.
You may be drawn to unavailable partners or partners you need to save.
You may be more prone to overlooking red flags, falling for others quickly, and holding onto a fantasy about the potential of a relationship instead of seeing the relationship for what it actually is.
This fear can show up through thoughts such as, "This is just a temporary rough patch. We're meant to be together," or "I know they can change," even when they've shown you through their actions that they are not willing or able to change.

The first step to overcoming this fear and learning how to respond to it is being aware of how the fear of being alone is impacting your relationships. If you need additional support, working with a therapist who can guide you during this process can assist you in shifting your relationship patterns.

Disclaimer: This post is for informational purposes only. This is not intended to be a substitute for professional or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health professional or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or well-being.

This post was also published by Psychology Today

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You give too many chances to the wrong partners.

You jump from relationship to relationship and have rare pockets of time when you are single.

You have a harder time letting go of unhealthy relationships.

You may find yourself over-functioning in relationships and overcompensating for your partner's lack of effort.

You may be drawn to unavailable partners or partners you need to save.

You may be more prone to overlooking red flags, falling for others quickly, and holding onto a fantasy about the potential of a relationship instead of seeing the relationship for what it actually is.

This fear can show up through thoughts such as, "This is just a temporary rough patch. We're meant to be together," or "I know they can change," even when they've shown you through their actions that they are not willing or able to change.